I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize