there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
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Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
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I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick