oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
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as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
So squirting runs in the family.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
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I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements