i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"