You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??