How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
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Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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