She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
