Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize