If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
