Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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