i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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