I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
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Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
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First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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