I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
