some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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