i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she smelled like a LAN party
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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