**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
