she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Couch. On fire.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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