She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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