i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize