Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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