I heard we made out
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
