Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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