mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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