jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize