I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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