oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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