The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
should my penis look like a turkey
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
