So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
