We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
