Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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