a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
