do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You ruined the universe