Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.

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(404): last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy. http://tfl.nu/ky7z

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(850): View more from Florida

I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.

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(850): I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken. http://tfl.nu/xxkh

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(757): View more from Virginia

Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town

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(757): Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town http://tfl.nu/mvuo

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(630): View more from Illinois

i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.

(1-630): View more from Illinois

nothing about this is right.

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(630): i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings. (1-630): nothing about this is right. http://tfl.nu/76cn

Replies (23) Good night (4979) Bad night (1705)
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(309): View more from Illinois

I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.

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(309): I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors. http://tfl.nu/cath

Replies (10) Good night (10940) Bad night (845)
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(209): View more from California

Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas

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(209): Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas http://tfl.nu/u2nh

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(507): View more from Minnesota

i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.

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(507): i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined. http://tfl.nu/05lw

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(903): View more from Texas

He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.

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(903): He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit. http://tfl.nu/92kz

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(785): View more from Kansas

apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man

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(785): apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man http://tfl.nu/lmge

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(713): View more from Texas

There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special

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(713): There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special http://tfl.nu/6w5y

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE

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(612): Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE http://tfl.nu/81rr

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(907): View more from Alaska

She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students

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(907): She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students http://tfl.nu/c30c

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(720): View more from Colorado

So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.

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(720): So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword. http://tfl.nu/ujgp

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(240): View more from Maryland

I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.

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(240): I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos. http://tfl.nu/cwl9

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.

(901): View more from Tennessee

But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.

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(901): I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes. (901): But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes. http://tfl.nu/ipaj

Replies (4) Good night (815) Bad night (164)

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