after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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