I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
