how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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