Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
