The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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