when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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