i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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