The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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