i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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