ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
