my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
