stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
