That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize