omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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