I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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