Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
A+ Viking dick
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize