i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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