hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
