Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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