my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm in love with you.
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.