your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.