I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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